Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: Acknowledging, Grieving, Remembering
Our culture has not always given space or acknowledgment to pregnancy and infant loss, despite 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ending in miscarriage. That’s a statistic that you’ve likely heard before if you’ve been pregnant – that fear of the worst happening. But sometimes – 25% of the time – it does. Where do you go from there?
Acknowledging
First, acknowledging that this is a loss worthy of grieving is an important first step. Pregnancy loss has been hidden for so long that many women have grown to think that it is not a loss worthy of grief, which could not be further from the truth. It’s the loss of a being so precious, but also the loss of hopes, dreams, and excitement. It’s loss of trust in your body, loss of connection with a partner, loss of plans forming for the next stage of life. All of these things individually would be worthy of grief, but together especially these losses need to be acknowledged and grieved.
Grieving
The tricky thing about grief is that, like the book We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, you can’t go around it, you can’t go under it, you’ve got to go through it. Going through grief looks different for every person. It may look like a period of numbness, a desire to forget, anger, sleepless nights, or needing to talk. It may look like not wanting to share, weepy mornings, or new or worse anxiety. All of these reactions are valid and all are normal, even though they are so, so difficult.
Whether it is yourself going through this loss, a partner, or a friend, know that the support each person needs is different, and it can be worth asking what this person (or yourself) needs. Don’t assume someone doesn’t want to talk about it because they don’t bring it up, and likewise don’t assume that someone wants a full memorial service if perhaps they want to grieve privately as a family.
Remembering
While you or someone close to you is going through this difficult process of grief, the act of remembering may be one of the most important things you can do. Remember the pregnancy or infant that was lost, remember the parent(s) grieving, and let them know you are remembering. It is easy to feel alone in grief and loss, and remembering shows that the grieving person is not fully alone as they face the dark night that is the process of grief.
The fact that this month of awareness exists is hopeful, but it also may be hard. Reach out for support from family, friends, or professionals. We aren’t meant to take this journey alone. Through acknowledging, grieving, and remembering, we cannot make all of the hurt, loss, and pain go away, but we can hold each other through it.
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Blessings,
Kimberly Bennett, LPC
Founder/CEO It’s Only Homeschooling
Founder/CEO The Homeschool Counseling Network
This website is not a professional counseling website and nothing here should be construed as professional counseling advice. Although Kimberly Bennett, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor, she is not your counselor, and no counselor-client relationship is established unless she has signed an agreement with you. All information provided through this website is for informational and educational purposes only.
