Handling BIG Feelings With The Power of the Pause
In previous blog posts, we talked about the emotional roller coaster of feelings and introduced you to the topic of emotional regulation, including what it is and what it is not. We discussed the purpose and function of feelings and the importance of making friends with feelings.
Today, we are going to introduce you to one simple yet powerful technique to help you and your homeschool student manage BIG feelings, The Power of the Pause.
The Feeling-Thought-Behavior Connection
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
Feelings can feel automatic. In reality, there is a tiny space in between in the moments between experiencing a feeling, processing this feeling, attaching this feeling to a thought, and acting on the feeling.
Within these little pockets of time, lie moments of opportunity. Impactful moments that carry change. It is in these moments that we hold all the power.
We call it the Power of the Pause.
The Power of the Pause
Just like anything else we want to do well, learning how to take advantage of the brief spaces between experiencing feelings and acting on those feelings takes practice.
Before we can practice, we need awareness. Self-awareness of situations, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Also, we need knowledge of the difference between reactions and responses.
To begin, let’s imagine our brains are control centers. Reactions are often viewed as being automatic. Some are (and we can be thankful they are) as they ensure our survival. Remember when we talked about the role of the amygdala in our previous blog post?
While many appear instantaneous, many do not. In truth, there is a brief period between us experiencing a feeling and choosing (yes, choosing) how to act on that feeling.
Through these choices, we seize control of the command center in our brains. Through conscious awareness, guidance, and a little practice, we can learn how to gauge our feelings, examine the thoughts attached to said feelings, and then choose which course of action we want to take.
How do we accomplish this process?
We learn our P.L.A.C.E.
Parents As Teachers
Practicing the Power of the Pause helps us learn how to manage our BIG feelings as parents so we can in turn model and teach the technique to our children.
Learning to self-regulate our emotions is a vital lifelong skill that boosts self-esteem and nurtures healthy relationships. This gift of self-empowerment carries us through life’s trials and struggles.
Coming Up
In upcoming blog posts, we will continue our discussion about managing emotions. Next, we will begin our eight-part series Eight Ways To Help Your Child Regulate Emotions.
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Blessings,
Kimberly Bennett, LPC
IOH Mom
Founder/CEO, It’s Only Homeschooling
Founder/CEO, The Homeschool Counseling Network
This website is not a professional counseling website and nothing here should be construed as professional counseling advice. Although Kimberly Bennett, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor, she is not your counselor, and no counselor-client relationship is established unless she has signed an agreement with you. All information provided through this website is for informational and educational purposes only.
