Self-Reflection For Self-Regulation: The Person In The Mirror
You’ve made it! We have finally arrived at the last lesson for helping your child manage difficult emotions.
You have learned a lot of tips to help you and your child regulate emotions but more importantly, I hope you have learned a lot about yourself as a parent, about your child as a person, and grown closer as a family.
Growing Pains
Learning to regulate our emotions is more than just about our relationship with others, it’s about our relationship with ourselves. We learn to take a look at ourselves and appreciate all parts (even the parts we don’t like.)
From the time we are born until the time we leave this world, we are always learning and always growing. In this growth, we will make missteps and mistakes. It’s all part of the process. They’re called growing pains for a reason.
When we began this series, we talked about riding the emotional roller coaster. We discussed what emotional regulation is and what it is not.
Learning to make friends with difficult feelings helps us learn to tolerate them as no feeling good or bad lasts forever. Standing in the middle of an uncomfortable situation and allowing ourselves to feel the unpleasant feelings that accompany the uncomfortable situation long enough for them to subside or change, is empowering.
In therapy, we call this a type of exposure exercise. This exercise helps us build our frustration tolerance muscle and strengthen our self-esteem. It also helps us to remind ourselves to pay attention to our feelings without allowing ourselves to be ruled by them.
Remembering Whose We Are
Learning to self-regulate is like learning a new dance, one step forward and two steps back. At times, it can feel impossible and your child (or you) may want to give up. When this happens, give yourself grace.
When this happens in our home, we strive to remind ourselves that whose we are is bigger than who we are. As a family of faith, we know we are guaranteed to experience trials in this life. Yet, we also know that we believe in our Redeemer who is bigger than any trial. We do not have to face our difficulties alone. We can lay them at the cross, at the feet of the one who released us from fear of anything in this world because he overcame the world.
Loving The Person In The Mirror
Practicing this mirror exercise with your child is a wonderful way to help nurture self-acceptance and help them view overcoming challenges as a lifelong process.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Edith Wharton
Coming Up
I hope this series has offered some useful parenting tips for helping you teach yourself and your family how to cope with big feelings.
What’s next on the HCN blog? More guest blog posts on a variety of topics including one from Julie Hodos of Playing For Hours.com on the merits of providing structure when homeschooling your preschooler.
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Blessings,
Kimberly Bennett, LPC
Founder/CEO It’s Only Homeschooling
Founder/CEO The Homeschool Counseling Network
This website is not a professional counseling website and nothing here should be construed as professional counseling advice. Although Kimberly Bennett, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor, she is not your counselor, and no counselor-client relationship is established unless she has signed an agreement with you. All information provided through this website is for informational and educational purposes only.
